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No more masking

Updated: Oct 16, 2022

Since I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD (hyperactive/impulsive type) in June, I have learned a lot about myself and I like what I have learned. I am learning to be my true, authentic self with no more masking - pretending to be something I am not to fit in with "the world".


One of the craziest things I have discovered is that I have been masking things from myself. For example, I am finally learning that I do actually stim and I am learning the ways I do stim. I have tried so hard to deny these things existed, but they have always been there. Things like a bouncing leg when I have been sitting too long or I am anxious. Or the way that I "crinkle" a book. When I am reading a soft cover book, I have a way of bending the book that makes a cool, soothing noise to me. Unfortunately, it appears that this is irritating to those around me. But I just love the feel of the pages and the sounds that they make that I have never been able to stop this behavior.


I would never have picked out ADHD (hyperactive/impulsive) for myself, but now, as I look back, when I was younger, I was a Tigger. I bounced through life. I was exuberant. And when I decided to do something, I did it, often without realizing what the consequences might be. I am so thankful that God was looking out for me and keeping me out of any real trouble.


I am excited to be learning and I can't wait to learn even more about myself.

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